Okay I know I said in my previous post that I’ll be away but I cannot not tell you guys this
It’s official guys…
I CANNOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND YET.
I mean I’m okay with it though ’cause really I legit have nobody in my heart right now (I had a little crush on this guy but I lurked too much and found out that he’s not single so I just gave up…I only liked him for about 3/4 weeks hahaaa…)
Anyway back to the topic. Mom is being reaaally paranoid nowadays and whenever she heard things related to dating and relationship, she would look at us and muttered “kalau kedapatan be boyfriend/girlfriend babu kawinkan tarus” *SHUDDERS* I’M JUST 20 AND HAVE YET TO TRAVEL AROUND THIS WORLD SO OKAY MA’AM NOTED MA’AM.
Boss chick, my uncle and aunt also discussed about our relative who is going to get married soon but have yet to have a stable job and oh my God guys mom was totally AGAINST it. I just sat beside her and gulped endlessly. I kind of disagree with her because I remember our ustaz once told us to not get scared of poverty in marriage because Allah swt will bless those married couples and will give them sustenances as long as they live in accordance to Islam. But at the same time our parents blessings are important too..which means I have to get a stable job first before getting married, no other way out guys haha.
Sigh love is a complicated thing to me anyway. Some get it easy and some people, like me, have to wait till we’re rotten…now that I have to also wait till I get a job then I’m allowed to date…but I believe that Allah swt will make us meet at the right time and right place and honestly this is my last strain of hope. It’s not like nobody wants me (sounds perasan I know but what to do right HAHA JOKING LA!!!), but I just don’t feel that…spark…you know…do you guys get me??? Like no it’s not you who I’m waiting for. But then, who am I really waiting for?
Relationship is a big deal for me, because I’ve no time to play around when it comes to this and also because I’ve never been in any relationship before. But just because of that does not mean I’m gonna make myself available to any boys that are interested in me. But because I’ve never been in any before is the reason why I want my first ever relationship to be the first and until forever. I want to end up with my soulmate and I’m still waiting for him, who is obviously riding a turtle but okay he has 4 or 5 more years till I graduate so enjoy your ride for now okay baby haha. I have a feeling that I’m gonna end up with an arranged marriage though, which I also don’t mind and actually like this idea (’cause I also don’t want to go through the pain of awkwardly introducing my “boyfriend” to mom ’cause she’s such a strict person because HELLO I’m her ONLY princess, she has to, teehee. Oh not forgetting my overprotective best friends. Good luck in facing them too boy), as long as mom is happy and I’d get my parents blessings that’s all. I know, such an obedient child HEEE~ But obviously if I like the dude and the feeling is mutual la! If not I’ll sulk and sleep on one of the trees behind our house.
For now I’ll just swoon over my friends relationship stories and be their loyal listener and supporter ’cause I genuinely feel happy whenever they are bursting with love and positivity hehe :>
Sighs one day heart, one fine day <3