The story of my love life is basically the title of this post bahaha.
Anyway guys, interesting fact (self-proclaimed because I’m honestly amazed up until now) of me is that I’ve NEVER been in any relationship before, EVER. I’ve been breathing, walking, living for 20 years but I’ve yet to found the potential teammate for me to spend the rest of my life with. But even if I’m interested in this one guy for instance, it’s either he doesn’t care about my existence or he’s taken or he has a crush of his own.
Sucks. To. Be. Me.
Honestly, I went through..well, kinda a lot to me, of unrequited love. I went through 7 or more only God knows. I got rejected twice, one was when I was still a toddler and this little boy from next door always came by to play with me and my cousin until that one point grandma decided to pull the trigger and told him that she’s going to hitch him with me, he never came by since then. I think he ran back to his house while crying guys. Guinness world record can call me to be the youngest girl to get rejected bahaha. God life is harsh I was only 1/2 years old la sheesh have some mercy. And let’s not talk about the second one, it still hurts me up until now ha.
I just want to write about this because I finally realize that I actually learnt a lot just by liking boys silently. I admit that I’m paranoid of love and became so stingy due to the endless cycles of not getting loved back. But today I finally gotta admit that falling in love is something that is inevitable. So what to do?
Embrace it while it lasts.
Embrace it until you knew that he’s reserved then you’ve the choice to wait for him (please don’t pray for them to breakup that’s just mean guys bahaha) or to move on. But don’t stress about it too much, don’t cry over it too much and don’t let your heart fall and break into pieces. Reserve your heart, keep all the love back in you and lock it down until you found another person that you think deserve it even more. As much as you think that you’ve lost someone that is so special to you, you’re actually not losing anything. If he doesn’t want to take the love that you’re offering then it’s his lost, you still have it in you and you still can give it to someone else. And that someone’s definitely going to be waaaay more better than him and will make you question the ex-crush some more bahaha.
You know, just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’ve to end up with him, no matter how long you’ve been in love with him. Unrequited love taught me that. What important the most is his happiness, even though the source isn’t from you. So the least you can do is to pray for him and your own happiness. You’ll get tougher and you’ll move on by yourself. You’ll be extra careful and be more focus on the path you’re walking on so you won’t trip once again. But you know what, it’s okay to trip and fall again, who knows you’ll finally get to fall into wonderland hehe.
But the lesson that I love the most from going through a lot of unrequited love is to not get too stingy with your love, that it is ok to love. You’ve a lot of people around you that deserves their own places in your heart, your family, your best friends, prophets, God. You’re not born to only love a guy in your life. To be a daughter you need to love your parents, to be a best friend you need to love your bffs and even to be a great leader you need to love and appreciate your workers you know. I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to find your other half, no. But this is just a reminder for me that along the way of endless searching, don’t ever forget to give love to those who are already in our life. They deserve it too. So before you’re thinking of killing yourself because of a dude, think about these people in your life because YOU have a place in their heart. You are loved.
I love this malay phrase “kalau jodoh tak ke mana” so much, because it is true. Your other half’s probably dating with a girl right now and going all lovey dovey with her. Yeah, go on boy, have that time of your life while it lasts.
I’ll be laughing my a$$ off after knowing that you’re going to end up with me like in this picture BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
But please be in love with me.
And oh, don’t forget my petite malle thanks. #whotoldyoutobelate